Welcome the new age of Electronical Copilotarianism

Navigation is on the verge of a new era. The days of the Road Atlas are rapidly disappearing. I'm both happy and sad to see it go.

In my early road warrior days (mid 90s), a cross country road trip began with a Trip-Tik from AAA, which was then divided by gas-tank limited lengths of highway. I tried to estimate my own endurance to gauge how early I could start the day, when I would need a break, when I should call it quits for the night, and how any of these might coincide with the previously laid out gas stops. I had an electronic interstate directory, to help me find my preferred gas stops, restaurants, and rest areas (hopefully scenic). On the road, I had a stereo that was almost a navigation aid unto itself. With only the name of the state you were in, it could locate the nearest city by scanning the FM band and comparing it to the internal database of radio stations. This also kept me listening to only the radio formats I wanted to without having to wonder if I could find a non-country station. A 12-CD changer kept me going in between metropolitan areas. My ears for "traffic problems" consisted of a RADAR detector, CB radio, and a special radio scanner, all deployed about the vehicle interior in a way to minimize their intrusion and maximize usability.

While my old electronics counter-intelligence and entertainment suite has been largely disassembled, my enthusiasm has not diminished. As computers are produced in smaller sizes, and more capabilities are built into car accessories and various peripherals, the magic-factor will increase by leaps and bounds. The amount of information now available to divers can be both astonishingly useful, and horrendously distracting. The trick is to make sure these devices stay easy to use enough that the road is always at the center of the driver's attention and never needs to be diverted.

Would you like to know a secret? We're almost there.

The next generation of navi-tainment technology has started to trickle out to the populace, with a relative avalanche waiting in the wings. The first of these new-age devices to show up was Sync, powered by Microsoft. Sync has one job: access your portable music device and phone while in your car, using little more than your voice, and is doing a good enough job of it that folks are actually using it as a go/no-go qualifier for buying a new car. I am excited to see future iterations of Sync, with or without Ford.

Another bomb that was dropped just recently came from a relatively unknown company called Dash. Their baby is simply called Dash Express, and it has been closely followed by many folks. Dash was among the first to tout the term "historical speed data". This technology leverages average speeds from times-gone-by to help plot the best course to your destination. The Express also incorporates Wi-Fi and an always-on data connection through a nationwide cellular network. These connections allow for real-time traffic information access, directory services, and live firmware updates. The Interesting point to this device is that as a user, you are also performing a valuable function for Dash. Your Dash Express is actually a traffic probe as well. This means that your telemetric data is also reported back to Dash, which in turn helps other users keep informed of upcoming traffic irregularities, creating a network of better informed drivers.

The last gadget I'll be discussing here promises to be a main-stream after-market stereo system that just happens to pack a Windows Vista PC inside it. Azentek is a relative newcomer as well, only having a few products actively being sold at the moment, which promise owners of Ford trucks a convenient way to keep connected to their business while on the job site. The device I'm excited about is a little more entertainment oriented, and is called the Atlas CPC-1000. This seems to be Azentek's spearhead into retail automotive accessories and is a very well equipped device. I have followed home-grown car-PC efforts for a long time, but the Atlas is enough to make me drop any thoughts of doing one for myself. If you take one of these, add an OBD-II PC interface (which you can now buy from multiple vendors) and a mobile broadband connection, your passengers could watch streaming movies from Netflix while your car calculates exactly which Exxon station you can reach on your current tank of gas.

Imagine the Orwellian implications!!! Okay, now imagine how much more enjoyable a trip across the country could be. No longer burdened with guessing how much you'll have to pay for gas (you'll already know), where the next "safe" bathroom stop is (you'll already know), where the next scenic viewpoint is (guess!), what your kids are really up to in the back seat, what the tire pressure is at each corner of the car, and what your estimated range is (based on your current fuel-load, fuel usage, upcoming elevation changes, historical speeds, current traffic conditions, weather visibility, and ummm... time to get through the new inter-county security checkpoints). Despite my cynicism, I am actually very excited to see what the future has in store for us. I just can wait!!

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What Makes Your Car Ugly? Dodge Caliber Edition

Chrysler's Dodge brand has managed to build quite a styling empire for itself. On the topic of Value, they go head to head with GM's Chevrolet and... er, Ford. When Styling becomes the deal maker, they seem to have lifted themselves to the level of Pontiac from about 4 or more years ago. I'm not saying I don't like the particular vein they have followed in general, but they have largely adapted a boy-racer look to almost every passenger vehicle they sell, which I have found myself rather tired of when seen strapped onto anything less assuming than a Viper, Charger R/T, or Ram Truck.

I won't deny that it has certainly been successful in terms of brand recognition, and what better passive safety feature is there than to have a handy verb spring to mind for any pedestrian facing down a large metal contraption with a over sized set of cross hairs approaching them at high speed? Wouldn't you want to dodge as well? I've been run over (or under, as it were) by a car, and I would have done much better to have received the subliminal advice offered by a Dodge than any given by a Ford Escort.

Back to the topic at hand: The lovely and soft-spoken design of the Dodge Caliber. I'm going to change over to some Firearm and Artillery lingo to help describe it as well. I hope you don't mind.

The Caliber has a face only it's mother fellow Dodge brethren could love. It is by far the most aggressive looking car in it's class, which also defies definition. Can you believe this car replaced the Neon? It seems to be about twice the size. When staring down the gaping grill in front, you can almost pick out the lands and grooves. It is hard to blame Dodge specifically for this though, as Dodge hasn't had much choice. Chrysler has forced its divisions to use the same barrel across a multitude of firing platforms, seeming to change the length to fit everything from derringer to hunting rifle. It is shared with no less than 6 different models, although one might argue the merits of calling the Jeep Compass and Patriot separate models. The other vehicles occupy the mid-size sedan and (believe it or not) full-size crossover-utility segments.

At least we now have word from Chrysler that relief is on the way. If you want a small Dodge in the near future, you may be able to pick up one built by Nissan or Cherry. I don't know if that means the Caliber will stay in the breach to continue firing for future model years alongside the new outsourced compact car(s), or if this signals a retreat for this model. My opinion is that the bore length of this "small" vehicle exceeds that of the larger stablemates (and it isn't very exciting, either).

I'll leave you with what I think is one of the best shots of the Dodge Caliber, so that the wounding sight of it isn't so painful.

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A Slight Upholstery Change

Do you like it? I decided That the standard blog templates were not up to my enthusiasm for this blog, so I embarked on a little adventure last night to change the situation.

Allison had long ago started manipulating her blog layouts, which I took some interest in, but never needed for myself because I didn't require the level of customization she was looking for. I thought that my other blogs were just fine with their simple design, but I found myself looking for ways to spruce this one up. Needless to say, this is considerably sprucier than any other I have had, and still retains the "left hand drive" column layout I like for this blog's main purpose.

Later on I may embark on using a few of my own Gimpified photos for the page header. Until that time, I'll continue Saab-ing about the current one.

If you are looking for your own blog templates, you can consider my source by scrolling to the bottom of the page.

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Transexual Tendencies? Try this on for size.

As a fan of add-ons for vehicles, whether driven by individuality or functionality, I always like to see new and innovative ideas.  This one caught me off guard.  I don't know who came up with the idea originally, but it certainly is entertaining to see them "dropping by" on the road.  The most entertaining are when guys (sorry, I haven't seen any girls at the wheel yet) hang them from the somewhat female looking hitch receiver of their trucks.  I think we need more "identifying characteristics" applied to our cars, but I have to scratch my head a little bit here.

I have always thought of road-going vehicles as having two faces, so this concept is a bit alien to me.  I'm not one for sporting balls on my chin, even when it is my rear chin.  I do applaud the innovation, though.  I think it would be appropriate to hang some tonsils behind the grill, or maybe add some prosthetics to the rear view mirrors to make them look a bit like ears.  Hmmmmm...

In any case, if I had to drive a truck sporting these in public, I'd probably try to find some way to keep it tucked between the seats.

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What Makes Your Car Ugly?

Editors note: This is the first of many explicitly editorial pieces dedicated to those vehicles that rub me the wrong way. Later on, I may have another series called What Makes Your Car Not-So Ugly to round it out.

Welcome to the first installment of What Makes Your Car Ugly! You may wonder how one like myself may be justified in asking (and answering) such a bold question, but be assured that I am as well qualified as anyone that might make uneducated and horribly uninformed opinions of somebody else's stuff. I have no business doing it, really. But I like to have fun with it anyway.

Today's topic: The Toyota Yaris.

I don't know if you have had the pleasure to enjoy their incredibly cute little commercials, but the advertising wizards were able to give this car so much "personality" that you forget how ugly they are. The hatchback reminds me of an overstuffed bubble about to pop, and the sedan is a stretched version of the same. In some of the advertisements, they actually do pop, as a form of asexual reproductive function.

In giving credit where it is due, I absolutely love the commercial where the lonely Yaris is pondering little MP3 players buzzing about. That one Rocks!

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A Brief Introduction...

Hello, and welcome to Autogotistical Carpinions! I created this blog to share my enthusiasm for cars and accessories to attach to them. I'll be discussing everything from my own life-long automobile fan club membership, and providing my own amateur analysis of car trends. I grew up telling complete strangers about all the cars my family had owned during the portion of my short life that I could remember at the time. Why not continue the fun?

I hope you can get as much enjoyment out of this as I will!!

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