The Search Begins

Having had a few days to think on it, I'm slowly putting together some loose specifications for storm chase vehicles. Here are a few of the items on the wish list:

• Looking for decent traction available at all four corners
• Hoping for a BIG sunroof and windows
  
• Some extra bit of ground clearance for when we have to leave the road temporarilly, or when the road has surprises
• Gas milage in the high twenties (or better) for lots of range
  
• Room enough for four to crash for a short time without rearranging too much gear.

These requirements are pretty hard to meet with any single vehicle, but for right now they are merely a set of guidelines to help compare possible candidates. Most of the vehicles that have crossed my mind for this job fit into various "crossover" categories. Here are some of them, in no particular order:

• Isuzu Vehicross
• Cadillac SRX
• Toyota RAV (3rd gen)
• Toyota Highlander
  
• Chevrolet Traverse
• Dodge Journey
• Lexus RX
• Mazda 5
• Honda CRV
• Honda Element
• Volvo XC70
• Dodge Sprinter
• Nissan Rogue
• Nissan Murano
• Ford Taurus X
• Ford Edge
• Ford Flex
• Ford Kuga
• Ford Escape
• Audi Q5
• Volkswagen Tiguan

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What's New and Hot? Storm Chasing!!

Stay tuned for discussions about choosing the right tornado tracking transportation for your and your loved ones! We'll be ping-ponging it with What the heck is happening here? to bring you the latest!

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New Toys for Old Boys

As I have mentioned before, problems with the world economy in general and the United States' economy in particular are making it hard to make good on new and innovative ideas.

One particular product on its way out is the Dash Express. Dash has decided to become a software solution provider, and no longer sell the Express. I'm sorry, Dash. I truly hope you get to stick around to lend your influence to anyone who might need it.

Just in the nick of time (or so it would seem), Telenav is offering their own Connected Personal Navigation Device, called the Shotgun. Again, this device is capable of some pretty interesting stuff. My favorite feature is "Gas by Price," which is something I've been looking for in a PND. Again, I am afraid for anyone attempting to bring a device like this to market, but at least it has some "good financial support" in Nokia. We'll see how that works out.

How do you measure a Plug-In Hybrid vehicle's mileage?

I read a Motor Trend News blog entry recently, discussing problems the EPA and General Motors are having with each other over the forthcoming Chevy Volt. This car is revolutionary for the traveling public, not because it's never been done before (it has), and not because they invented the idea (they didn't), but because they are finally going where so many people have been asking car manufacturers to go for so long. This will be our first mass-market electric vehicle to come equipped with a fossil-fueled generator to extend the range of the vehicle.

That's great, so what's the problem?

The EPA wants to measure the Volt's MPG in a manner different to the way GM would like them to. I think they both have valid points, and I think that neither is entirely correct.

For those of you who don't know, a Plug-In Hybrid vehicle can have just as varied a set of powertrains as a Hybrid vehicle can, but the difference is that the Plug-In has been optimized for recharging its batteries by use of a power cord plugged in to your house or other place of business, and then using that same electricity as long as possible before tapping a different source of energy to continue driving, allowing you to run exclusively on electricity for as long as possible.

What this means is that the Chevy Volt could possibly handle your entire daily commute and a few errands without using a single drop of gas. That's what GM wants you to know (and that it gets 100MPG!!!). It also means that if you don't remember to plug your car in over night, you might need to tap into your gas reserves the next day. That's what the EPA wants you to know (which could drop it as LOW as 48MPG).

I believe that both sets of numbers have significant meaning, and should be used with newly defined standards that highlight the capabilities of this type of car, otherwise the consumer will be getting the wool pulled over their eyes (and that would be a story for another blog).

Maybe we need to take a vehicle's range into account more than we have been. Something like: Look, if you only need to go 40 miles and your car is all charged up, you won't use any gas, and if you need to go 400 miles and your gas tank is full, then you won't need to get MORE gas on the way. Sure, you can also go a few nights without needing to plug it in as well. Oh yeah, don't forget to check your electric bill see if you are saving any money, okay? Thanks!!!

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Which costs more, Fuel or Freedom?

At the beginning of the summer, as gas prices were still going up, my family moved to a new house within walking and biking distance of a number of conveniences, including public transportation. Up until this point, I had been celebrating all of the great technological wonders that were going to be making life on the road so much better for us. I realized that I may be honking up the wrong sway bar and that our most recent gas crisis may end up hindering the introduction of many of these devices, just because so many people (myself included) were scrutinizing their time at the fuel pump so much more. What use would you have for an in-car concierge if you weren't driving more than 20 miles a week?

I rejoined the local Vanpool, which I had left a couple of years before, and was enjoying using it for about 2 months. I felt both liberated and responsible. Liberated from the gas pump, I had started the Vanpool with 5/8ths of a tank, and I didn't have to fill up for another three and a half weeks. For once I felt like a responsible citizen as well, in that I was doing my part in reacting to the "gas crisis" with a level, and conserving mindset.

A short time ago, somebody at work finally realized we were hitting a major time crunch, and we had mandatory overtime. This rather outwieghed the need to conserve gas, so I have begun driving myself to work once again. In my musings on the road, I became aware of an application for the same navigation devices I had thought might be doomed to a shallow market.

Just the same as UPS has optimized their own routing to save gas, everyday automobile drivers could use the same techiques with the help of navigation devices -connected to their engine computer- to more accurately assess their mileage capability with regards to current traffic conditions and plan their route accordingly. Like many other commuters, my driving time and gas mileage can vary greatly depending on the time of day I am driving. When driving at the most congested times, it is often faster to take an alternate route, but is it more efficient? Do you really save gas?

Most drivers have absolutely no idea, but I think that more of them would like to use that knowledge to their advantage. I'm not aware of any device that is capable of both routing and measuring fuel consumption, so I'm claiming the idea here for my own. And don't get me wrong, this isn't just for vehicles using gasoline propulsion. Unless you can power your vehicle 200 miles down the road for a few dollars, you can benefit. I hope you'll buy my invention!! :)

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What Makes Your Car Ugly? Pontiac Aztek Edition

This particular post has taken a lot of thought on my part, because I wanted to do more than just say "Hey, this car is ugly." I now live on the same block as an Aztek so I am given to dwell upon its status as an icon in the automotive industry more often than I'm comfortable with. I believe I can now say I have found the donors which have lent their genealogical makeup to this vehicle, and I can tell you that none of it is pretty.


To begin with, The Aztek was a crossover. In this case that means it isn't quite a minivan. Although it can be painful to look at, the hood line is generally longer, and they scraped off some of the back to "sportify" the rear and keep the "wagon" label from attaching too firmly (this way it rather slides off). On the plus side (some may prefer using the word size instead of side), this vehicle offers a similarly commanding view of the road which has made SUVs so popular in the U.S.A. In my opinion, the Aztek begat the beginning of the end for Pontiac's styling trend taken up in the nineties, whereby they thought that they could make anything look good by adding lower body-side cladding. It worked for many of Pontiac's models, but could not help the Aztek.

The Aztek was supposed to carry on Pontiac's "outdoorsy theme" inspired by the Trans Sport Montana, which was also not very well inspired. The original Trans Sport would have been a revolution in family transportation, which I think was the only reason that Pontiac used the same name for their minivan, as it bore no other resemblance to the concept. Too bad for that. We really lost out folks, but that's nothing new where corporations are concerned.

Back to the topic at hand. Where did the Aztek really come from then? They started with the idea of appealing to folks who really needed a minivan, but couldn't own up to it. But how could they characterize these folks? What features could they add to an existing vehicle to tap a new demographic? It would need to embody independence, flexibility, and use design principles perfected in the previous 20 years. What other cars could they draw from for these elements?

You really didn't need to read this far.

Really. You will be sorry if you go any further.

Don't say I didn't warn you.


The Chevette/T1000 family of cars had been sitting idle for a few pleasant years, and were chomping at the bit to be loosed upon the world once again, so Pontiac made it taller, wider, and updated the interior to match the best in modern adventure vehicles, but kept the same basic shape. There had been previous exeriments with turning standard Chevettes into exciting vehicles, but they were usually panned due to poor placement of bottle openers under the hood.

So we have the basic outline of the vehicle, but what could Pontiac do to keep the masses from exclaiming that they had just seen the Chevette reborn? They had to find a way to disguise it so that nobody would realize what it really was. Unfortunately they drew inspiration from a shining example of movie-making: National Lampoon's Vacation. I'm sure we'll never know the true reasons for doing this, but I'm certainly looking forward to the next car they try to sell with the same styling cues as the Griswold's wagon.

Wait. I think somebody already did. Does this look familiar? I think it might. If you look closely you can see the redundant set of tail lights that accent a very similar rear facia featured on the Lincoln Navigator. How odd!!

Now that we have exposed the Aztek's questionable lineage, I will tell you what was good about it. It could double as a tent! How many cars can do that? There was a boy racer version planned as an Anniversary Edition (a la Fiero), but it didn't convey enough of the Chevette's natural charisma, so it was left in the round file.

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Welcome the new age of Electronical Copilotarianism

Navigation is on the verge of a new era. The days of the Road Atlas are rapidly disappearing. I'm both happy and sad to see it go.

In my early road warrior days (mid 90s), a cross country road trip began with a Trip-Tik from AAA, which was then divided by gas-tank limited lengths of highway. I tried to estimate my own endurance to gauge how early I could start the day, when I would need a break, when I should call it quits for the night, and how any of these might coincide with the previously laid out gas stops. I had an electronic interstate directory, to help me find my preferred gas stops, restaurants, and rest areas (hopefully scenic). On the road, I had a stereo that was almost a navigation aid unto itself. With only the name of the state you were in, it could locate the nearest city by scanning the FM band and comparing it to the internal database of radio stations. This also kept me listening to only the radio formats I wanted to without having to wonder if I could find a non-country station. A 12-CD changer kept me going in between metropolitan areas. My ears for "traffic problems" consisted of a RADAR detector, CB radio, and a special radio scanner, all deployed about the vehicle interior in a way to minimize their intrusion and maximize usability.

While my old electronics counter-intelligence and entertainment suite has been largely disassembled, my enthusiasm has not diminished. As computers are produced in smaller sizes, and more capabilities are built into car accessories and various peripherals, the magic-factor will increase by leaps and bounds. The amount of information now available to divers can be both astonishingly useful, and horrendously distracting. The trick is to make sure these devices stay easy to use enough that the road is always at the center of the driver's attention and never needs to be diverted.

Would you like to know a secret? We're almost there.

The next generation of navi-tainment technology has started to trickle out to the populace, with a relative avalanche waiting in the wings. The first of these new-age devices to show up was Sync, powered by Microsoft. Sync has one job: access your portable music device and phone while in your car, using little more than your voice, and is doing a good enough job of it that folks are actually using it as a go/no-go qualifier for buying a new car. I am excited to see future iterations of Sync, with or without Ford.

Another bomb that was dropped just recently came from a relatively unknown company called Dash. Their baby is simply called Dash Express, and it has been closely followed by many folks. Dash was among the first to tout the term "historical speed data". This technology leverages average speeds from times-gone-by to help plot the best course to your destination. The Express also incorporates Wi-Fi and an always-on data connection through a nationwide cellular network. These connections allow for real-time traffic information access, directory services, and live firmware updates. The Interesting point to this device is that as a user, you are also performing a valuable function for Dash. Your Dash Express is actually a traffic probe as well. This means that your telemetric data is also reported back to Dash, which in turn helps other users keep informed of upcoming traffic irregularities, creating a network of better informed drivers.

The last gadget I'll be discussing here promises to be a main-stream after-market stereo system that just happens to pack a Windows Vista PC inside it. Azentek is a relative newcomer as well, only having a few products actively being sold at the moment, which promise owners of Ford trucks a convenient way to keep connected to their business while on the job site. The device I'm excited about is a little more entertainment oriented, and is called the Atlas CPC-1000. This seems to be Azentek's spearhead into retail automotive accessories and is a very well equipped device. I have followed home-grown car-PC efforts for a long time, but the Atlas is enough to make me drop any thoughts of doing one for myself. If you take one of these, add an OBD-II PC interface (which you can now buy from multiple vendors) and a mobile broadband connection, your passengers could watch streaming movies from Netflix while your car calculates exactly which Exxon station you can reach on your current tank of gas.

Imagine the Orwellian implications!!! Okay, now imagine how much more enjoyable a trip across the country could be. No longer burdened with guessing how much you'll have to pay for gas (you'll already know), where the next "safe" bathroom stop is (you'll already know), where the next scenic viewpoint is (guess!), what your kids are really up to in the back seat, what the tire pressure is at each corner of the car, and what your estimated range is (based on your current fuel-load, fuel usage, upcoming elevation changes, historical speeds, current traffic conditions, weather visibility, and ummm... time to get through the new inter-county security checkpoints). Despite my cynicism, I am actually very excited to see what the future has in store for us. I just can wait!!

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What Makes Your Car Ugly? Dodge Caliber Edition

Chrysler's Dodge brand has managed to build quite a styling empire for itself. On the topic of Value, they go head to head with GM's Chevrolet and... er, Ford. When Styling becomes the deal maker, they seem to have lifted themselves to the level of Pontiac from about 4 or more years ago. I'm not saying I don't like the particular vein they have followed in general, but they have largely adapted a boy-racer look to almost every passenger vehicle they sell, which I have found myself rather tired of when seen strapped onto anything less assuming than a Viper, Charger R/T, or Ram Truck.

I won't deny that it has certainly been successful in terms of brand recognition, and what better passive safety feature is there than to have a handy verb spring to mind for any pedestrian facing down a large metal contraption with a over sized set of cross hairs approaching them at high speed? Wouldn't you want to dodge as well? I've been run over (or under, as it were) by a car, and I would have done much better to have received the subliminal advice offered by a Dodge than any given by a Ford Escort.

Back to the topic at hand: The lovely and soft-spoken design of the Dodge Caliber. I'm going to change over to some Firearm and Artillery lingo to help describe it as well. I hope you don't mind.

The Caliber has a face only it's mother fellow Dodge brethren could love. It is by far the most aggressive looking car in it's class, which also defies definition. Can you believe this car replaced the Neon? It seems to be about twice the size. When staring down the gaping grill in front, you can almost pick out the lands and grooves. It is hard to blame Dodge specifically for this though, as Dodge hasn't had much choice. Chrysler has forced its divisions to use the same barrel across a multitude of firing platforms, seeming to change the length to fit everything from derringer to hunting rifle. It is shared with no less than 6 different models, although one might argue the merits of calling the Jeep Compass and Patriot separate models. The other vehicles occupy the mid-size sedan and (believe it or not) full-size crossover-utility segments.

At least we now have word from Chrysler that relief is on the way. If you want a small Dodge in the near future, you may be able to pick up one built by Nissan or Cherry. I don't know if that means the Caliber will stay in the breach to continue firing for future model years alongside the new outsourced compact car(s), or if this signals a retreat for this model. My opinion is that the bore length of this "small" vehicle exceeds that of the larger stablemates (and it isn't very exciting, either).

I'll leave you with what I think is one of the best shots of the Dodge Caliber, so that the wounding sight of it isn't so painful.

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A Slight Upholstery Change

Do you like it? I decided That the standard blog templates were not up to my enthusiasm for this blog, so I embarked on a little adventure last night to change the situation.

Allison had long ago started manipulating her blog layouts, which I took some interest in, but never needed for myself because I didn't require the level of customization she was looking for. I thought that my other blogs were just fine with their simple design, but I found myself looking for ways to spruce this one up. Needless to say, this is considerably sprucier than any other I have had, and still retains the "left hand drive" column layout I like for this blog's main purpose.

Later on I may embark on using a few of my own Gimpified photos for the page header. Until that time, I'll continue Saab-ing about the current one.

If you are looking for your own blog templates, you can consider my source by scrolling to the bottom of the page.

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Transexual Tendencies? Try this on for size.

As a fan of add-ons for vehicles, whether driven by individuality or functionality, I always like to see new and innovative ideas.  This one caught me off guard.  I don't know who came up with the idea originally, but it certainly is entertaining to see them "dropping by" on the road.  The most entertaining are when guys (sorry, I haven't seen any girls at the wheel yet) hang them from the somewhat female looking hitch receiver of their trucks.  I think we need more "identifying characteristics" applied to our cars, but I have to scratch my head a little bit here.

I have always thought of road-going vehicles as having two faces, so this concept is a bit alien to me.  I'm not one for sporting balls on my chin, even when it is my rear chin.  I do applaud the innovation, though.  I think it would be appropriate to hang some tonsils behind the grill, or maybe add some prosthetics to the rear view mirrors to make them look a bit like ears.  Hmmmmm...

In any case, if I had to drive a truck sporting these in public, I'd probably try to find some way to keep it tucked between the seats.

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What Makes Your Car Ugly?

Editors note: This is the first of many explicitly editorial pieces dedicated to those vehicles that rub me the wrong way. Later on, I may have another series called What Makes Your Car Not-So Ugly to round it out.

Welcome to the first installment of What Makes Your Car Ugly! You may wonder how one like myself may be justified in asking (and answering) such a bold question, but be assured that I am as well qualified as anyone that might make uneducated and horribly uninformed opinions of somebody else's stuff. I have no business doing it, really. But I like to have fun with it anyway.

Today's topic: The Toyota Yaris.

I don't know if you have had the pleasure to enjoy their incredibly cute little commercials, but the advertising wizards were able to give this car so much "personality" that you forget how ugly they are. The hatchback reminds me of an overstuffed bubble about to pop, and the sedan is a stretched version of the same. In some of the advertisements, they actually do pop, as a form of asexual reproductive function.

In giving credit where it is due, I absolutely love the commercial where the lonely Yaris is pondering little MP3 players buzzing about. That one Rocks!

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